Apit started skool on Monday so I took leave till Tuesday and timeoff today..Accompanied him to skool on Monday and I had to sit in the class with him cos he would cry if he didn't see me .. He just wants me there afterwhich he played,sang and danced away with his new frens..
On Tuesday I just sent and picked him up from the transport as the skool do not allow parents to be in the class anymore after the first day.. Apit was gaily waiting for his trasnport, but when he realized I was not getting on the van, he started crying again.. khe khe khe .. padahak seblm tu like terror "Ibu tak yah gi skolah lah!! Ibu go work eh!" Cukup time, melalak plak dia khe khe khe..
Same for today, he happily waithed for his transport with me.. but again cried when I didn't get on.. But the attendant said he always cry for a while only.. after his frens talked to him, he will be ok .. And he when he comes home, he happily hops down from the van and into my arms and hugs me tight like he hasn't seen me for ages ..khe khe khe .. memamacam ragam ah budak ni ..
And he proceeds to tell me what he did at school and the whole day, he will sing and dance to the new songs he learnt from school ..I am happy we sent him to school a lil early.. At least his time at home isn't wasted.Although I am not very impressed with his and transport company, I will just lay back and watch how he progresses this half year.. If he is good and there is improvement, then I will continue him in that school, otherwise, I'd have to look for a better skool for him.
Hmm its 8am.. I can catch a lil more sleep before I have to leave for work at 9.30..catch you people later!
Wistful for Love
7:46 AM
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I am frequently sulking and depressed.. hence the name for my blog ..I have always tot I didn't have a good life.. When I say good I mean the life that I wanted..To be able to study as much as I wanted, to be able to travel as often as I wanted.. to be able to afford a comfortable life with no worries..
I am constantly admiring other people's lives .. and comparing and wondering why can't I have such a life? And I strive to make it come true so much I end up going deeper and deeper into my own grave..
Then I realised, my own motto has always been" No matter how difficult you think your life is, there are other who have a more difficult one" And then I realised just how lucky I am.. Worldy possesions have never been that important to me yet at times, they tend to influence me to become someone I am not! And I am glad I always fall back to the ground and realise my mistake and awake to my life, one that may not be as good as others but hey , at least it's better than some other people's..And for that, I am grateful.Alhamdullilah..
Wistful for Love
11:57 PM
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Ahah .. The weekend is here!! I am off today and on leave on Monday and Tuesday... Holiday?? No lah.. just taking leave to send Apit off to his first real school....He starts on Monday and he will be taking the transport by himself.. I will accompany him on his first day.. Geesshh I hope everything goes well.. He has always been able to cope well in a different environment
So whats my itenary for today??Morning, go to Apit's skool to buy his school books and uniform.. Then mebbe bring him to buy school shoes??Tot of going to the newly revamped Marina Square too see see look look ..Tot can buy a lil maternity clothes and I badly need a good comfy pair of shoes...
Then later this evening will meet up with hubby and we will go out for dinner ..He wanted to eat at railway but I heard the stalls outside are no longer there?? Any idea anyone??If really no more then mebbe we go Newton for a seafood feast lah ..There are so many places I need and want to go to today cos hubby works the morning shift .. At least if he tags along he can manage Apit. Sigh it's times like this I wished we had a car..I haven't drove for quite some time now..
So Sunday I dun know where to go yet cos hubby works late evening.. Monday and Tuesday mornings will be spent for Apit's first few days at school..And I am hoping to enjoy my lil break as much as possible..Cos after this, my sup will be on a week's leave and I will be like a mad woman.. Hopefully the system will be more stable by then..
So anyone knows where I can buy reasonable priced BIG sized maternity clothes and a wide range of Size 12 comfy shoes??? I am thinking shoes like Scholl or something comfy like that..
Wistful for Love
9:53 AM
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A sudden bout of morning sickness this morning plus... I had lil sleep last nite due to the bad dreams again resulted in me being on MC today. I know my supervisor will not be happy cos she has a class today and work will be piled up high today ...well wat to do?? I had wanted to go work cos of the circumstances ..too bad lah sup..
Hmm I've learnt some new things about some of my good frens.. they tend not to say things they are not happy about straight to my face which I would have appreciated better ... Instead they say it behind my back... well ok ..if that suits you fine..It just goes to show, now matter how well you think you know a person, there's always something new you will learn about them as time goes by...
Oh well,I'am just enjoying my MC and taking it slow.. the cramps are gone, except for today's bout of morning sickness, it's been going on very well...My appetite
especially has been very good ... Can't wait for my first appointment to "meet" the lil one...
Wistful for Love
3:29 PM
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Out of sight,out of mind... Well that what I've always tot.. If I dun see that person or those people often enuff, we'll soon forget about each other, seeing taht each of us are busy with our own commitments and wat nots..
Morever, I've always been and have always felt like an outcast just becos I dun enjoy the same things they do or can afford the same things they can or even experienced the same things they did.But I've always shamelessly tagged along only to let myself be put down further...
Ok lah .. I've had it. No more terhegeh hegeh ...If you feel like meeting me,call me up .. Dun give me lame excuses ok? I've swallowed my pride long enuff ..I tried to be myself but I guess that is not good enuff for you. Benn used enuff thou.. My mum always told me, "kau tu jek yang tak malu terhegeh hegeh kat orang...Orang bila perlu jek carik kau.. bila kau yang dalam keperluan saper yang tolong?"
Well, there is some truth in wat she said. I've always gone out of my way to try and help and do my best for others but when in comes to my turn, everyone suddenly has something on .. well ok lah...dah seasoned pun ...
Yet, my obstinancy just can't seem to overcome my softheartedness and my tak sampai hati motto.. I've always tot "Ni hari orang mebbe lain hari, hari aku?" Yet I always console myself that way and end up dissapointed. And those people keep popping up now and then just to ensure their existance has not waned from my life.
I dunno.. I just dunno.. I dunno if I can make myself turn into someone I am not. Wat good has being good done for me? I end up bringing more problems to myself..Oh dear, the raging hormones within me makes me go on an emotional roller coaster. I can't sleep well at nite even tho I am only in my first trimester. Each time I close my eyes, I have a bad dream. I end up getting cranky and tired. Gosh .. 7 more months to go!! ArghhhH!!
Wistful for Love
6:25 PM
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The first trimester has always been difficult for me... During Apit's time, I couldn't eat rice. I would throw up immediately ..My staple food then was noodles and bread..I had morning sickness throughout the pregnancy ..
This time, I feel so nauseated esp by cigarette smell..Ironic huh..I am only about 6 1/2 weeks yet I have the the symptoms very badly.. and I can't stop wanting to eat rice!!! Even a small portion would suffice....And I am experiencing cramps for 2 weeks now..something like menstrual cramps.. Sometimes, the pain is rather intense but bearable.
I went to Poly this morning and the Dr had said that long term cramps is unusual but since there's no spotting or bleeding, he's rather confident about it and gave me 2 days MC but not without warning me to go to KK's A&E immediately if there is spotting or bleeding.
So I called my sup and told her that I had 2 days MC but hmm , she didn't sound too happy and said that she has a class to go to tomorrow and she won't be able to cope.So I have to go to work lah...I am just about to get back on good terms with her after the previous episode and I dun wanna create another scene..So wish me luck and that eveything would be ok..
Wistful for Love
9:32 PM
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It's been a good week for me but a lil slow tho.. Was on course on Thursday and Friday... Customer service and sales...One of the instructors was fun and we talked and exchanged ideas and stuff.. the topic can go from the baby bonuses to politics and wat nots ... all in all, I had fun and learned lots of things
The instructor spoke to me and told me to go and experience Hong Kong and China if I had a chance... Is he kidding me?? Nak gi nearby Malaysia pon terkial kial nak simpan duits siaks... Had actually planned to go Bangkok end of this year but wif the baby on the way, I guess I have to forgo that as well ..sigh ..
One thing that kept bugging me tho, the instructor kept referring to me and this other Malay guy in the class as the Laidback Malays.. In his view, Malays are laid back and contented being where they are whereas the Chinese work too hard earning money and forget to enjoy life...He didn't mean it in an offensive way, rather he admired the Malays ...
Do you ever think of it in another point of view? I always hear Malays saying "Orang Melayu memang gitu..pemalas tak macam orang Cina rajin carik duit!Macam mana Melayu nak maju gitu?" Or that "Malays are the race who often fall back!" I used to agree and personally didn't have many Malay frens when I was young hence that was how I picked up my Mandarin... But I discovered many good points as I grew up.. My best frens now are Malays ... We have been best frens for 14 years now...
There have been several occasion when I chatted with the driver of the cab I'm in and they always praised us Malays for our filial piety ..Go to an old folks homes and see the number of Malays and Chinese they say.It's amazing how the Malays would rather care for their elders no matter how troublesome and incovenient it is compared to the Chinese who would send their parents to the homes even tho they are healthy and well ...And I discovered, Yes, that is true.. so one point up for us Malays!!
Another point is , our generation now are no longer the contented to be just where they are now. I have frens who I proudly declare as Entrepenuers! Striving to always better their lives and trying to set up their own business and not only one mind you but several..
Then again when my instructor said we were laid back, he meant we know how to be contented with our lives and sit back and enjoy our family and life as it is instead of just passing thru it and upon reacing the end, we realised that all that we have worked for has no use for us on our deathbed.
For me, I am proud to be a Malay and even tho I sometimes still hate some Malay attitude, not all Malays are that bad! There are many points that we have that other races admire and lack .. which I think they should learn from us!!
Wistful for Love
5:45 PM
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The past few weeks I have been cranky, emotional and weird... Hmm I had wondered why..Sigh I tot of doing lotsa of ridiculous things about my life .. things that were surely unthought of ... So yesterday, I got my answer to all my questions.. It's also an answer to one of my prayers... Alhamdullilah ..
Wistful for Love
8:26 AM
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